What’s the inverse of a silver lining? [explicit]
I’m thrilled about Obama, of course. I hope it’s the sign of my country turning a new leaf, and shedding some of the painful past. Other than overcoming the obvious racial barrier, I hope this signals the end of the anti-intellectualism that has been rampant for a decade or two. Obama is an inspiration to millions and sharp as a tack. That, my friends, is a rare combination. It won’t be easy, but if we can hold his administration to half of the ideals that inspired us to support him, the country will be back on track.
Unfortunately, it’s not all unicorns and rainbows for me today. Four states banned gay marriage or adoption, including probably (still officially undecided as I write this) our beloved California. I’m feeling the tyranny of the majority today. I’m not effective as an advocate for gay marriage, because I take it very personally… usually the only argument I can muster is “F— you! Don’t you criticize my 10-year committed relationship; hold yourselves to the same standard, you goddamn pricks.”
Even well-meaning straight couples take the civil aspects of marriage for granted. I can’t count how many times I’ve been at a wedding and heard “We actually got the marriage certificate two months ago, but it didn’t feel like we were married until today.” I call bullshit — it’s precisely the opposite. Anybody can throw an elaborate party for friends, family, and imaginary deities of their choosing. But it’s not an effective union until your state and country acknowledge, accept, and enforce the literally thousands of rights and responsibilities you have to each other.
California: thanks for the 55 electoral votes. But otherwise, fuck you. Same to Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida, and the LDS.
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Sentiments echoed in full my dear. And I just realized on reading this that right about now is the 10-year mark of the day you brought Art home (on what was it… your second date?) and made him a part of our B-22 family. Sure you don’t want bring him home again, this time to Egypt? Of course I can’t promise that things will be anything but worse here vis-a-vis attitudes to gays at the national level (and you’ve inspired me to think about blogging my views that subject)where ostrichism or ostracism seem to be the two alternatives. Remind me to tell you about one of my colleagues’ conversations with her students on the mater of gay marriage sometime. It’s one of those simultaneously hilarious and horrifying incidents, where students who thought that the implications for finding alien life forms included as a potential problem , the dealing with human/alien marriage barriers! When my colleague pointed out that here on Earth we already discriminate against certain populations by refusing them the right to marry, their response - with no hint of self awareness of irony - was “but that’s unnatural, Doctor.” Meanwhile of course those unseen aliens (of unknown sexual orientation or even sex itself for that matter) are oh so natural!!!
But back to my original subject - your potential visit/ it occurs to me that we could have our version of your wedding (sorry, but I still hate Art’s phrase, commitment ceremony — to evocative of a psychiatric ward — and only marginally less, the new alternative my friend here came up with: partnership!) here on a boat on the Nile, just to make a point? The other trouble here is all sorts of gaiety is banned here, including alcohol in any sort of public place.
But tourism here is truly spectacular and I see no reason you should deprive yourselves of that treat because the modern culture hasn’t caught up to the world. On the plus side, people won’t harass you on the basis of your being gay because straight men are quite affectionate with one another publicly, and so no one thinks twice about PDA’s that might raise eyebrows in Littletown, USA. But I completely agree that its high time not just our country but indeed, all humanity shapes up on granting all people equal rights.
And now I must toddle of too bed else I’ll be typing in a series of typos
And hang in there - this trouble too we shall overcome though when is anyone’s guess. But I’m more optimistic now since Barack’s election since before that I’d been convinced that a Black US president would not be elected in my lifetime or at least my career-time. So gay rights may also come into being before our pessimistic selves pass on to wherever
okay now I’m truly sounding incoherent so…
hugs
n